I mentioned in a list of things that make me feel good that forest landscape, especially hardwood forests, are my thing. Well, this is what I had in my mind. Not only make better landscape shots than coniferous forests, but when fall comes, the scenery is stunning with all the different shades of yellow, oranges, reds and browns. Plus, I have a fascination with leaves, I used to collect them in the autumn, based on their color when they fell on the ground. Such fun times, it used to be my hobby.
Speaking of hobby, back then I used to think that listening to music, watching movies, traveling were the “proper” hobbies. When asked (in those oracles we used to fill), those were the hobbies people mentioned. I usually didn’t do much of any of the above and I remember feeling like a boring person. But I had plenty of hobbies back then. Beside collecting leaves, I also was collecting flowers and various plants for herbarium, collected potted plants, collected stones and various other stuff. I was a collector. Then I came across some astrology stuff that said that cancers are collectors because they cling onto the past. That insulted me and I decided to stop collecting. Actually I decided to become the opposite that cancers was said to be. Well, not liking children was actually a good thing to master, but collecting stuff is a nice hobby to have. Oh, another reason why I stopped collecting was because when I was looking at things, I was remembering past events and a pang of pain went trough my heart. Also, one more reason was because I never had a fixed home, even in my childhood, my parents separation always felt like waiting around the corner. After they finally separated, I moved a ton and packing was always a pain in the ass. Actually, after so much moving, I developed a habit to throw away stuff that I don’t use regularly. When I’ll settle in my own house, I might start collecting again.
Another hobby of mine when I was a child was to draw. I used to draw a lot and I was better at it than almost all the other kids.But I stopped that too. It was a general mindset that drawing is what kids do. Grown-ups didn’t draw, parents in particular didn’t draw. So I got rusty. Is not that I don’t have the talent anymore, but is just more difficult to sit down and draw. Back then the ideas came easily. I was putting a piece of paper in front of me and without much thinking, things came out under my pencil. Now there’s a weird feeling, even painful, to think of something to draw. I can’t decide what to draw. Maybe the things that waited to be born on paper all these years are battling in my head for priority.
I always had a great imagination, but I suspect that it was polished by reading books. I used to read a lot when I was a kid. My summers were spent reading. I am sure that in my childhood, I read the most compared with the other kids in my school. I still read a lot, but the genre of the books changed. I don’t read fantasy any more. I was not big on poetry, but there were certain poems that I liked and generated mystical worlds in my head. I am trying to bring back that imagination, not that it died, but is not as strong as it used to be, and now I decided to be a writer, therefore that imagination is needed.
Growing up, I fixed a lot of bad traits, but I also lost the good, these that made me special and made me lovable. I’m working on bringing them back again.