But Inside I’m Screaming – Thoughts





The story is not something ground-breaking. It talks about specific things and I don’t expect extravagant plot twists. I didn’t even expect it to, that’s not why I decided to read this book. I started reading it because I wanted some insight into the mind of the mentally ill people who are admitted in that mental institution. I wanted to know what they think, how they see themselves and the world around them.I wanted to know at least about the protagonist, but the book delivers more. You can figure out the other patients too. It actually fascinated me.

SPOILERS! The thing that revolted me is the way mentally ill people are treated. It occurred to me that the personnel that are supposed to help those people, actually don’t give too many fucks about the patients. This is obvious from the fact that the psychiatrist in charge for the main character, fails to see that Isabel is just depressed, had the bad luck of growing up and being surrounded by assholes and instead telling her that is ok to not please every single prick out there (I am mad with everyone out there that drove her up the wall, especially with her parents), is ok to quit that demanding job and maybe get another position in the journalism area, she just uses the wrong words all the time (“you’re worth more than you think and you will upset others if you die”- yeah, put more pressure on her,you idiot!) and thinks that electroshock will cure her depression! WHAT THE HELL??

This book made me think that the mental institutions are not places to treat mental illness, but a place to lock people away from society. Nobody puts actual effort to treat every patient. It fails to me to see how the ‘treatment’ for Isabel worked. I think that the fact that she was away from the people from her life and had time to think was the therapy,not the group sessions or the sessions with her doctor. I find it a joke, the whole institution. It just screams prison and definitely there are people paid for nothing, they’re there just to have a job and not be unemployed.

However tho, this is a novel and it mustn’t be taken as the reality.


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