We’re all crazy, but I’m probably the craziest one in here

So, while I was clicking things and links as usual, coz not even a visible warning for viruses won’t stop me clicking that link that caught my attention (there were times that I regretted doing so, though), I clicked on this Personality Disorder Test.

First of all, I could see right through the questions, I mean, I could see the objective of every one of them and I could see what results I would obtain by clicking every question. However, I decided to be totally honest and answer truthfully even though, clicking on some questions would be totally opposite to the answers to some previous ones, and that added to the fun I had at the time. Till I saw the results.

Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: Moderate more info | forum
Schizoid: High more info | forum
Schizotypal: High more info | forum
Antisocial: Moderate more info | forum
Borderline: Moderate more info | forum
Histrionic: Moderate more info | forum
Narcissistic: Moderate more info | forum
Avoidant: Moderate more info | forum
Dependent: Low more info | forum
Obsessive-Compulsive: High more info | forum

The Schizo words made me, for a second, go all like: omfg! I am done, I am crazy! … if this test is legit. *suspicious look*

The test had some disclaimer though, something along the lines “People who score Moderate or Low are less likely to have the disorder; People who score High or Very High are more likely to have the disorder, however this test shouldn’t serve as diagnosing tool and we suggest to consult an expert for correct diagnosis.”

But since I am not the type of person to accept whatever is being feed, I looked for more info about all these disorders, and here is the conclusions I have.

Paranoid: Moderate

As the disclaimer said, I’m less likely to have this disorder and from the description (provided in the more info) I think is true. Or at least, my paranoia is indeed moderate.

“Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives.”

True. I trust nobody, even the people I know for a period of time I don’t trust 100%. Sometimes I wonder if is even possible for me to trust someone with my all. Conclusion? Nope.

“People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships.”

This is where “moderate” starts to make sense. I don’t have blind trust in my own knowledge, I often second-guess myself.

“They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant. They usually shift blame to other people and tend to carry long grudges.”

This is also true, even thought that I don’t assume by default that everyone approaches me with ill intentions, but I have my eyes peeled to catch every clue if something like that is true. And also, I don’t shift the blame on others to make myself seem innocent, but I don’t hesitate to see where others are wrong tho. Also, I am a person that doesn’t forgive and doesn’t forget.

My “symptoms”:

  • Unwillingness to forgive perceived insults
  • Excessive sensitivity to setbacks
  • Distrustfulness and excessive self-reliance

3 out of 7

Moderate, I’d say 😀

Schizoid: High

“People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. Unlike avoidants, schizoids genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived by others as humorless and distant and often are termed ‘loners.’ ”

This is me in a nutshell.  This was not always my personality, I worked really hard to achieve this. I do prefer to be alone than tolerating a stupid person that makes me roll my eyes at every sentence they say. Indeed, I prefer to work alone, coz I do not know how and/or want to pretend that I am sociable and polite. I see right through people’s bullshit and I do not want to start a fight (because people don’t like to be called out on their shit), but I don’t want to tolerate such people either. However, I am a bright person, I have humor, but I am not willing to show these to people that step on my nerves, and unfortunately, there are a lot of them around me. All I want is to find the exit and go as far as possible from them, before they make me lose my temper.

My “symptoms” :

  • Weak interpersonal skills

If by weak interpersonal skills you mean lack of ability to pretend to be polite and play along in the hypocrisy, pretend that we like each other and have common hobby being prejudiced, then yes, I lack these skills.

  • Difficulty expressing anger, even when provoked

When provoked, I just frown and roll my eyes because I am very aware that the bastard doesn’t know who messes with. My outburst won’t be just yelling and calling them stupid. No, I don’t yell. I either say words that make them wish they were beaten up instead (words hurt more than slaps, Tumblr says) or I just smash their face. See? Better I don’t react. And they better be thankful for that.

  • “Loner” mentality; avoidance of social situations

I wasn’t always like this, I used to be longing for people’s company, but the more I was trying, the less the results. At some point I realized that is ok to eat that meal alone in a restaurant or drink that coffee alone at Starbucks. People still don’t want my company, but now I am not bothered by it anymore.

  • Appear to others as remote, aloof, and unengaged

See first “symptom”.

  • Low sexual desire

Not true at all! 😀

  • Unresponsive to praise or criticism

To genuine praise I respond, I truly am, but often the praise comes with a hidden (they think is hidden) purpose. And there I just respond with an awkward “thank you”. I also like constructive criticism and I welcome it, but the criticism I often receive is all wrong. I am often misunderstood, nobody can read me.

So 5 out of 6? That’s indeed pretty high 😀

Schizotypal: High

“Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.

The only things that apply to me are these in italics. Sometimes I lose focus, but that is because I lose motivation midway. Like with this post. I saved this post several times and continued it, and to be honest I thought I will abandon it. At this point, the title of this blog starts to make sense too.  I had lots of blogs (maybe too many to be healthy), but I lost motivation after awhile. My speech is indeed hard to follow, but not because is too elaborate, in contrary, is quite short. I have difficulties putting my thoughts into words. I am a person who express themselves better with images. I like people who can catch an idea really quickly, because I can’t and don’t want to elaborate things. This is another reason why I abandon blogging really fast, and to be honest, I am really surprised that i even reached this point in this post. My favorite people are the ones that can read between lines.

My “symptoms”:

  • Odd or eccentric mannerisms or appearance

I was ready to diss this one, but I just remembered that there was one time when this “friend” of mine accused me that I don’t know how to dress. But then a friend of them asked them “what do you mean she doesn’t know how to dress? I don’t see what you mean” and then I thought that my “friend” was jealous of me and tried to make me feel insecure (?). I don’t know. Beside that, I always had difficulties matching colors. I am like “if I like this shirt and I like these pants, why can’t I wear them together?”.

So I guess I have this “symptom”?

  • Superstitious or preoccupied with paranormal phenomena

I was so ready to diss this one too, but then I remembered that I often have trouble falling asleep after I watch horror movies, so I guess that this one counts too?

  • Difficult to follow speech patterns

Difficult to follow elaborate speech patterns.

  • Suspiciousness and paranoia

Mild paranoia.

  • Appears shy, aloof, or withdrawn to others

appear , but I am not.

So 5 out of 7? That’s pretty high, too. 😀

Borderline,Histrionic, Narcissistic, Avoidant ,Antisocial: Moderate

This is where the test is quite erroneous. I have one to none of these “symptoms” to each disorder.

Dependent: Low

I am an independent person. This is something that I am very proud that I achieved.

Obsessive-Compulsive: High

This is one thing I have to work on.

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One thought on “We’re all crazy, but I’m probably the craziest one in here

  1. Pingback: Eccentrics: Schizotypal personalities and creative achievement | High Ability / Gifted

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